Instance swap not working for me

What am I doing wrong???>=(

Hi, so, I’m very new to Figma, and I’m creating a design for a smartphone App. I’m trying to create a bottom bar button. I have 2 Variants rn Pressed and not pressed, both use the same icon and Text, one is just somewhat darker. I’d like to make a universal component where I can just switch out the Icon and the text, and I can do the text, but the instance swap of the icon is what i can’t work out. At this point I spent so much time, that I could have just done every button by hand, but I want to bring this to an end.

So when I choose the Icon(yes the right layer) under the parent component it just doesn’t have the property (the hollow diamond) line, which should have the icon selection menu.
The other way around, having the parent component selected, the swap instance property doesn’t accept any of my Icons as argument, instead the assets. It doesn’t really matter though, if I can’t tie the icon to the property.

Please help me, copilot doesn’t know what I mean.
P.S. Also here is a video demonstration of the problem. I may be an Idiot if I am tell me so.